Well, they’re back! Just in time for the Global Mala events (September 18-19) and the UN International Day of Peace (September 21).  We don’t have the funding to give them away at this point, but we have made them available per your requests. Check out the new selection at www.cafepress.com/MFWPN. 

Lalitamba Mandiram’s modest portion of the proceeds will be used to support our charity projects, and you’ll be spreading a message of peace whenever you wear them. Enjoy!

Enlightenment is not of mind or form. It is an experience. Ah. I am suddenly aware of the presence. Nothing will ever be the same, though all is exactly the same. Ah. I am one with all. There is no separation. This is perhaps a taste of what it can be like, without having these thoughts in the mind.

Awakening does not depend on mind. It is not necessarily the outcome of certain thought processes or studies, though of course, it can be. In fact, in the state of samadhi or nirvana, or no state, there is no body, mind, or separate individual.

Animals can and do become aware, absorbed by the presence, through proximity. Grace is contagious. It is important to acknowledge the capacity for all beings to awaken, and so to treat all with equal respect and kindness.

This is true not only with regard to animals but with anyone we meet. It is important to bow down and to be of service to the best of our capacity. Not to think ourselves superior or inferior, but simply to be one.

We can let ourselves be nourished by the basic goodness of whomever we encounter on this journey into light. Each being we meet is a gift, divine prasad, and we too are this gift. When we treat each other like this, we begin to awaken, to become that Truth.

June 7, 2010

I am feeling uneasy today.

What will happen when I go to teach meditation on the detox ward? I will be gone for two hours. What if he starts having seizures, as is a possibility put forth the by the doctor? I won’t be here to care for him. To guide him through a loving death.

I clear the day.

I sit next to him, and I read from the Svetasvatara Upanisad. He is so attuned to vibration that it does not need to be spoken aloud.

***

He eats nothing today. His eyes are distant.

Still, he is so gentle, so loving, so contented. His voice is stronger. He is joyful, though his body is finished.

***

I think of Mother Teresa and her homes for the dying. I need not sit here helplessly.

I get a warm, damp cloth, and I begin to wash his face. I clean all around his lips, and the sore inside. I clean his mouth gently, for a long time.

I give him water.

He tells me again that he is not suffering. That he is happy.

***

I am lying next to him when he dies. He wants it to be like this.

My arm is around him. His hand is on my cheek. I am surprised by this gesture. He has never been affectionate like this with me before. His eyes are locked on mine.

I remember how I cared for him as a child.

I cry softly, because I know that he is leaving. I cry for him while he is still here, and he comforts me, with his hand on my cheek.

I tell him that I love him.

Siva, Siva I say.

An incredible peace settles over us both.

I don’t know how long we stay like this for.

I remember that his nurse is supposed to be coming over. I think, What if he is in the midst of dying and she calls? I don’t want to get up then to answer the phone. What if I don’t answer it and she keeps calling or comes over because she is worried?

It is not his usual nurse who would be coming, today.

Today is Monday. This is her day off. This is her day off, but she wanted him to have extra care. She has asked a colleague to stop in.

I take my arm from around him and sit up to call the new nurse, to tell her not to come over, that we are doing fine as we are. Then, we will be able to rest like this all afternoon, without interruption.

I am trying to hold onto this moment, to hold onto him. Or maybe I am just being practical. Trying to set the stage for what none of us can control. A good death. The perfect death.

This is what we wish for our loved ones, or for anyone. A death such that the soul merges and needs not return to the bondage of samsara.

Of course, this depends upon how life is lived. Death is but a moment of transition. A change of state.

I take my arm from around him and sit up to make the phone call.

He cries out. His head goes back, and his teeth grind. He vomits.

I need to call 911 I think. I am frightened.

I put my hand on his head and bring it forward so that he is looking at me again.

“I’m here,” I say. “I’m here.”

I wipe away the vomit with the cloth.

Even now, he is surprised, pleased by what he sees as my efficiency.

I lie back down. I put my arm around him.

He begins to take short sharp breaths. There are longer and longer spaces between them. Each time he breathes, I am not sure that there will be another.

And then, there is nothing.

He is not breathing. I think that he has died.

Two days earlier, he stopped breathing. He stopped breathing for quite some time. I thought that he had died. And then, as suddenly, he began to breathe again.

His regular nurse came over twice that day. An extra visit in the evening, just to listen to his heart. Just to see him again.

Now suddenly, he takes in a sharp breath.

I begin to pray the Rosary. I say an Our Father and several Hail Marys.

Hail Mary full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Tears are running from my eyes.

I tell him that I love him. I thank him for being in my life and tell him I love you, over and over again.

He is looking into my eyes.

The space between breaths gets longer and longer, until there is not another one. The last breath is sweet and easeful.

His eyes dilate slowly.

I know that he has died.

It is one of the most intimate experiences that I have had.

I wrap his body in my robes.

I offer this experience so that you can learn from what I did or didn’t do, so that you will not be afraid to be with your loved ones at the moment of death, as I had been.

Check out our discussions at the United Nations
and find out about upcoming events.

It’s always a nice idea to have a piece of fruit or a packet of trail mix in your bag to hand out, or even to stop into a restaurant and buy someone a pint of soup, a sandwich, or a burrito, if you’re able to. That said, here are some resources that we discovered through our friends at the Interfaith Assembly on Homelessness & Housing (www.iahh.org).

Compiled by a wonderful woman named Amanda Parrish Block, these sheets are comprehensive listings of soup kitchens, shelters, job skills training programs, and medical/legal help throughout Manhattan and beyond. Offering information empowers people to change their situation.

We’ve added the links below, so that you can download them, print out copies on colorful paper (legal size), and have them ready to hand out whenever anyone asks you for help. Cheers!

http://www.iahh.org/files/pdf/streetsheets/food.pdf
http://www.iahh.org/files/pdf/streetsheets/shelter.pdf
http://www.iahh.org/files/pdf/streetsheets/employment.pdf
http://www.iahh.org/files/pdf/streetsheets/medical-legal.pdf
http://www.iahh.org/files/pdf/streetsheets/hygiene.pdf
http://www.iahh.org/files/pdf/streetsheets/food-bronx.pdf
http://www.iahh.org/files/pdf/streetsheets/food-queens.pdf
http://www.iahh.org/files/pdf/streetsheets/outreach_staten_island.pdf

CDs and DVDs are welcome as well.

Please contact us at lalitamba1000@yahoo.com to arrange drop-off details. Or just send book/CD/DVD donations to:

Lalitamba Mandiram
110 West 86th St., Suite 5D
New York, NY 10024

Thank you!

Session I

Before we break the bounds of expectation, it’s important to look into how expectation is working in our life, now.

Here are some ideas to contemplate. Take whatever time you need to think about them and to discuss them.

There are the expectations that others have for us, And then there are the expectations that we have for ourself. For you, are these the same, or are they different? Is there any overlap?

Does living without expectation mean living without goals or direction in our life?

Can expectation ever be positive?

Session II

Now, that we have explored expectation, allow all expectation to release. Softly. Like a sigh into the wind.

Exhale.

Living without expectation is about being completely free. Living without disappointment.  Living without fear of failure. Living without the looming idea that we need to achieve great things in order to be worthy. In order to be loved.

Let the breath be enough. The deep expansive breath. Breathe down into your lower belly. Let the breath move through your body. Through your entire being.

We’re talking not just about expectation for outcome in the material world. If I do this, then that should happen. Cause. Effect. Expectation that a certain cause will bring about a certain effect. Disappointment if it doesn’t.

Have you been there?

Or the opposite. Even if I do this, that will never happen. Insecurity. Self-doubt. Projection of failure.

Offer it up. Release your expectations.

Good.

Now. we aren’t talking just about material phenomena. Cause and effect in the world of the senses. Science.

We’re also talking about emotion. The relationship of mind to material experience.

If causes and conditions come together in such a way that this happens, then I’m going to feel this way about it. I’ll be happy, or I won’t be happy. I’ll be able to get over it, or I won’t be able to get over it.

No. No expectation of particular emotional response to a material outcome, either.

I want to take an example of something that we will all live through, and I want to take the example of something that is challenging. So, for example, the death of a loved one. It brings us to a place where we let go of expectation. Where we let go of doing.

The death of a loved one is not about This person is going to die, or He’s not going to die. I can fix it, or I can’t fix it.

And it’s not about When he is dying, when he is really dying, it’s going to be like this. It’s going to be painful for him and terrible for me. And after he dies, I’ll feel lost in the void.

We don’t know.

We are in this together. Now. The I is you.

This being has not died
like this, before,
and I
have never
borne witness
to this death before.
We are both like babies.
We are open.
Curious.
We don’t know
what’s going to happen
next,
and whatever happens
is just the now. 

Because he is dying,
we are liberated
from trying to change it,
from doing anything at all.
In becoming powerless,
we are liberated.
We are able to hold the moment
for the simple beauty
that it is,
together.

Freedom and suffering
can be simultaneous.
Because of this,
there is no real suffering.

I hold him, and I listen to him,
and I love him
as I never have before,
because each moment
is precious.

This moment is precious.

This is how we can live.
Live fully.
Live with bare awareness.
Open and engaged.
What’s right
in front of you, now?
You’ve never seen this.
Never tasted,
or smelled,
or heard
exactly like this,
before.
You’ve never felt this before.
And mind.
The sixth sense.
It has never come into relationship
with the world
quite like this.

And, it will never happen again.
Not quite like this.

Live like this,
in this endless moment.
Be a part of the whole.
Be no one and be one.

This is yoga.

Offered by Swamini Sri Lalitambika Devi at Integral Yoga on February 28, 2010.

This doesn’t mean don’t do any sadhana. Rather, it means that everything is sadhana and so, in a sense, nothing is sadhana. It means that sadhana is not separate from daily life. Sadhana is showing kindness to the person who is right in front of you, as well as your regular chanting, yoga, meditation, study, and so on.

The idea that there is no practice is simply a comment that we aren’t practicing for anything. This is it. Right now. So, let sadhana be an experience in which you are fully immersed. This means everything that you do. Let it be a part of the whole.
We are a temple without walls. If you’d like to be a part of the daily sadhana, here is a basic recommendation. Timing and details are up to you.

Morning:

Chanting of Scripture
Yoga
Meditation
Study

Seva:

Seva means selfless service. Seva can be whatever you do. Your duty or your svadharma. If you work in an office, this is your seva. If you are raising children, this is your seva. If you do charity work, this is your seva. If you are an artist, this is your seva. If you choose to sit and do meditative sadhana all day long, then this is your seva. Offer it up for the good of the whole. Know your svadharma in your heart.

The Baghavad Gita says that when we are not attached to the outcome of our actions, to getting particular results for ourselves, then we are liberated. There is inaction in action, as well as action in inaction. Simply experience whatever you are doing as a chance to serve, as an offering, as a road to enlightenment for yourself and for all beings past, present, and yet to come.

Evening:

Chanting of kirtan or bhajan
Meditation
Prayer

May all be free. May we all live in peace together.

Mantra and the Goddess is a guide to a life of inner beauty. It includes sacred teachings to heal the mind, as well as an interpretation of India’s classic devotional poem, the Sri Lalita Sahasranama. Chanted around the world, the thousand names of the Goddess reveal the power and the brilliance of who we are.

With eloquence and sensitivity, Swamini Sri Lalitambika Devi weaves timeless wisdom into contemporary experience. Drawing on myriad spiritual traditions, as well as her childhood, she explains how chanting mantra may liberate us. Through the Divine Mother, we rediscover ourselves. The Sri Lalita Sahasranama reveals the virtue, allure, and triumph of the Goddess in each of us.

Mantra and the Goddess–brilliantly penned by Swamini Sri Lalitambika Devi–is an exceptional expression of humanity’s quest for spiritualism that emancipates the body and soul in achieving higher goals of life. It is truly a “guide to a life of inner beauty.” The writing is beautiful and inspired. It is poignantly honest and genuinely moving in exploring the human yearning and experience so that we rediscover ourselves in the real sense. These insights and revelations heal the mind and have the potential to liberate anyone who seeks truth.

–Ambassador Anwarul K. Chowdhury, Former Under-Secretary General of the United Nations

For several years, Swamini Sri Lalitambika Devi has been coming to our hospital and humbly doing what many consider to be impossible: namely meditation, yoga and spiritual work with patients suffering from chronic mental illness in our inpatient psychiatric units. In Mantra and the Goddess, she generously shares her personal story alongside some of the spiritual principles that inform her work, creating a text that reflects the grounded, peaceful presence she brings to those struggling with life’s challenges. This book is a useful read for those dealing with stress, substance abuse issues, or mental illness–-or simply for anyone who is looking to bring a greater sense of spiritual awareness into their daily life.

–Adam Reynolds, Supervisor of Psychiatric Rehabilitation, Mount Sinai Hospital